Episode 002: an adventure in shifting identity.

Theme song: “Controversy” by 40 Watt Hype

001: a tour of body hair attitudes, advice, and removal techniques within one rural 1990s Vermont family.

Mentioned in the episode:

The Schick Personal Touch

The Epilady

Theme song: “Controversy” by 40 Watt Hype

EPISODE 13: Things begin to fall into place.

FEATURING: pattern recognition, sleep deprivation, knitting to avoid scrolling, half-ass vs. all-in, the complicated nature of long friendship, no-hotheads policy, the nature of time, well-intentioned friends, further explanation of why Lizz posts poems on Substack, fear of the silly and the small, the impossibility of proper adulthood, masking as a neurodivergent person, growing up in a conservative town, escaping that same conservative town, what happens in a room full of experts, craving the dopamine rush, struggling to stay focused during recording, and falling for her own bullshit in the best possible way.

ABOUT THE PODCAST: Curious about The Artist’s Way but not ready to take the leap? Working through the weeks alone and looking for a companion? No matter where you’re coming from, this podcast is for you. Welcome!

Lizzy Co approaches this material from the perspectives of ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD, and alcohol addiction recovery.

Lizzy Co does not make any claim of ownership to any of the material from The Artist’s Way presented in this podcast.

Subscribe now

POEMS MENTIONED:

EPISODE 12: Lizzy finally lets go.

FEATURING: upheaval, loneliness vs. fear of connection, how Lizzy starts the day, blind spots revealed, an eventual and colorful surrender to the Artist Date, the privilege of problems, a painful memory softened, post-holiday burnout, watching Mom numb out with food, easy shortcuts to attention, a most jealously guarded identity, the one thing all addictions have in common, falling down the notifications rabbit-hole, why Lizzy started her poetry Substack, learned habits of growing up poor, the prohibitive cost of ADHD assessment, one boundary she MUST keep lest she turn into an asshole, humans vs. iPhones, a moment of synchronicity during recording, and terraforming herself during early adulthood. Also, she answers a list of revealing questions.

ABOUT THE PODCAST: Curious about The Artist’s Way but not ready to take the leap? Working through the weeks alone and looking for a companion? No matter where you’re coming from, this podcast is for you. Welcome!

Lizzy Co approaches this material from the perspectives of ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD, and alcohol addiction recovery.

Lizzy Co does not make any claim of ownership to any of the material from The Artist’s Way presented in this podcast.

Subscribe now

You watch the local news on the old cathode TV with its big fat ass, your eyes glued to the ticker at the bottom of the screen announcing closures, eager to watch your elementary school’s name scroll by.

You know that they’re just being cautious: you just played outside, and the air really doesn’t smell like trouble.

But sometimes, it’s crisp and unfriendly in your mouth, like an apple still on its way to ripe.

That type of air is your fair warning that it’s gonna be a big one.

On those days, you head to the hardware store with your father and you help load the truck bed with the ancestral supplies: fifty-pound bags of rock salt and a fresh shovel to replace the one that wore out last year, this time with a fancy ergonomic handle that curves like a swan’s neck.

You learn these ways when you’re young.

The first few winters of your northern life are a precious time of snowmen and sledding and joy.

Then, the year arrives when your motor skills come together enough for you to hold your own tiny shovel, and your family introduces you to the blizzard battle.

It’s an all-hands situation, a winter storm.

(I was five when the Blizzard of ‘93 smacked into my home state of Vermont.

It was terrifying: the air so full of flakes I couldn’t see past my little, outstretched arm.)

When snow falls hard enough and fast enough, it’s important to get out there and do some maintenance shoveling.

If you don’t, you’ll be snowed into your own house before you know it.

Storm winds can pile a snowbank in front of your door and pack it in tight, no problem.

So it’s better you get out there into the worst of it, and it’s best that you bundle yourself like you mean it.

Your gear-up will take a long time: in the movies, it would be a montage.

(For the love of God, remember to pee before you start.)

• Long underwear (both shirt and pants)

• THICK socks (two pairs)

• Leggings

• Jeans

• Waterproof snowpants (the kind with suspenders, preferably, since you’re gonna be doing a lot of bending and squatting)

• Waterproof boots (leave the UGGs for another day)

• Sweatshirt

• THICK winter coat

• Hat

• THICK layer of Vaseline on your face and lips

• THICK scarf wrapped around your neck and lower face (as many times as you can, not just once all cute like you’re walking in Central Park in the fall)

• Coat hood zipped up all the way over the hat and scarf

• Handwarmers into your mittens

• Mittens on BEFORE you open the door

Gearing up is a meditative process, not meant to be rushed.

Every cold-weather item you own is inherited from an older family member.

Nothing fits quite right, but it all feels like home.

You use the layering time to prepare mentally for what lies ahead: wind, cold that makes you leave your body, and the pure physical toil of scraping, lifting, tossing.

You do it not because you love it, but because you need your home to remain standing once the storm has passed.

The nice part about a blizzard’s volume of snow is that it makes everything quiet.

It’s a cone of silence around you that only includes your breath and the snap of snow-clumps under your boots.

It’s a weighted blanket over the trees, the buildings, the power lines.

It quiets the people, as well.

It’s hard to have an argument when you’re out of breath from unavoidable physical labor.

Once the maintenance shoveling has been done for the hour, you head back inside, victorious, and make the promised hot chocolate.

(Swiss Miss is the all-time, uncontested gold standard, but store brand was usually what we had around growing up unless it was a special occasion.)

The pros make it with milk instead of water: the texture is better and you need the calories after all that hard work.

(Your parents might put a little coffee in theirs, but you’re still in elementary school and far too young for that.)

By the time you finish your drinks, enough blizzard snow will have come down that you’ll need to dig out again.

But, that’s alright.

Just keep cycling between the shovels and the cocoa, and don’t forget to wave to the neighbors.

Subscribe now

EPISODE 11: Lizzy shares some uncomfortable revelations.

FEATURING: synchronicity vs. the internet, finding where to fit in, decision brain vs. creative brain, a prescription for haters, a conversation with Lizzy’s father about the future, bullet journals, joy vs. duty, teaching people how to treat you, a career U-turn, a gross oversimplification of how she trains new hires in her cafe job, fear of seeking the help she likely needs, and the importance of continuing to grow through life. Also: an itchy nose and the thought of Alpine panthers.

ABOUT THE PODCAST: Curious about The Artist’s Way but not ready to take the leap? Working through the weeks alone and looking for a companion? No matter where you’re coming from, this podcast is for you. Welcome!

Lizzy Co approaches this material from the perspectives of ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD, and alcohol addiction recovery.

Lizzy Co does not make any claim of ownership to any of the material from The Artist’s Way presented in this podcast.

Subscribe now

Inspired by Nobody’s Girl and the recent arrest of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor.

KISS THE FEET THAT FROZE

I had one myself:
A cousin not really a cousin,
A person who taught me that once a door closes
It might not easily open,

Not in my own time, anyway,
But at some distant point on the line,
I and those memories
Both made their escape in the night.

No one holds words in their teeth to respond to the story.
It requires lines that folks wish didn’t exist,
So they take time to assemble, 
Tumble out oddly, teetering, fumbling. 

Trained to be his humble helpmeet,
Raised up in the glory of suffering,
Good thing I contain multitudes, because
There was never enough of me.

What an absolute, glass-smashing disaster
To rend the body of someone so small.
Give me shards over hands, give me finding the fault,
Give me something to keep me from punching a hole in the wall. 

Now, comes the part where I make the patented Lizzy Co positive twist,
Take a left in the road to drop off the folks who don’t want to know,
Reassure them that the world still has its mighty sunrise glow,
And life contains its gifts.

The souls who can stay
Weren’t born that way.
I bow to the people who rattled the same bars I had to,
I kiss the feet that froze when they couldn’t run.

I can barely behold you for blinking from brightness.
Don't you understand what a lantern you've become?
Your light burned away all the unlovely madness.
It's not your fault you were the chosen one.

Thank you so much for reading my work. See you next week.

Subscribe now

EPISODE 10: Lizzy shows off some artwork.

FEATURING: the difference between thought and action, the peril of multitasking, giant ice cubes, PMDD challenges, why hiding grief is a bad call, constructive vs. destructive criticism, her standards for someone in a leadership role, watching her mother struggle in a support role, rule number 1 of teaching beginners, why gatekeeping is for jerks, when she realized she had adult agency, adventures in self-publishing, hardassing her way to the top of the foodservice org chart, pivoting during the 2008 recession, and why she’s resistant to the Artist Date.

Subscribe now

THE NIGHT CAFE

Step inside the night cafe:
It opens after dark.
Baristas froth moon-lattes,
And there’s lots of room to park.

To pass on by the night cafe
Would be a crying shame.
Who wouldn’t want to be someplace
Where people know your name?

A special thing occurs when the stars rise.
The doors to the cafe all come unlocked,
But no matter how hard you squint your eyes,
You won't spot the key-holder. (She’s a fox.)

She’s not the only animal you’ll meet
If you venture into the night cafe.
This place is host to many gentle beasts:
Slow-moving vegetarians...mostly.

An octopus works four groupheads at once,
Steaming the milk just-so as coffee pours.
Here, the wait is short, and if your funds
Are low, someone will spot you. (But, of course!)

A lone wolf washes dishes in the back.
In his case, the night cafe provides
A bit of time and some space from the pack.
He scours, rinses, wipes the cups bone-dry.

Some strange hybrid of creature works the till,
A thing all feathered, muscular, and free,
Alive in the sunlight and counting bills.
(That sweet, bizarre, lovely creature is me.)

So won’t you come into the night cafe?
The candlelight is bright enough for words.
Have a seat, your drink is on the way.
Your plate is brought to you by chirping birds.

When you’re all done, just know you’re welcome back,
Each evening, when the sun turns down its sheets.
The night cafe will give you what you lack.
The night cafe will meet your every need.

Subscribe now

Thank you for supporting my work.

See you next week.

EPISODE 9: Lizzy celebrates the halfway mark.

FEATURING: the relief of lighthearted assignments, getting past the pleasantries, making time to grieve, how writing poetry is like pooping, pathological demand avoidance, surprise opportunities, Catholic fear, once again being called out by Julia Cameron’s insight, music school mentality, overworking the dough, the two types of latte art students, blocks vs. niches, living with a jealous mother, her own envious nature, and her longtime love of collage.

ABOUT THE PODCAST: Curious about The Artist’s Way but not ready to take the leap? Working through the weeks alone and looking for a companion? No matter where you’re coming from, this podcast is for you. Welcome!

Lizzy Co approaches this material from the perspectives of ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD, and alcohol addiction recovery.

Lizzy Co does not make any claim of ownership to any of the material from The Artist’s Way presented in this podcast.

Subscribe now

FEBRUARY 7, 2026

What is the center stone?

Is it the man having a tantrum I bounced from the building?

Maybe it’s the baby wearing tiny winter boots.

Perhaps, the little girl who loves hot chocolate,

Or the gleeful perimenopausals cracking each other up.

It might be the perfect breakfast sandwich I brought home.

It could even be the lover who waits to turn me into the full moon.

Hello there, you handful of bright and dark sparkles.

Give me some time.

I’ll place you just right.

Subscribe now

Thank you so much for reading my work. See you next week.

EPISODE 8: Lizzy finds a moment of ease.

FEATURING: growing comfort with Morning Pages, the perks of self-forgiveness, a struggle to remember self-care, growing up Catholic, being fully called out on her own bullshit, a proud moment, burning bridges for health and wellness, the tenuous nature of financial security, aphantasia, setting the tone, rejecting the poverty mindset, and the joy of a room of one’s own.

ABOUT THE PODCAST: Curious about The Artist’s Way but not ready to take the leap? Working through the weeks alone and looking for a companion? No matter where you’re coming from, this podcast is for you. Welcome!

Lizzy Co approaches this material from the perspectives of ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD, and alcohol addiction recovery.

Lizzy Co does not make any claim of ownership to any of the material from The Artist’s Way presented in this podcast.

Subscribe now

Read more

*pretend Jesus is whatever authority figure you want

●●

Please keep my baby girl this little forever.

She’s so perfect.

I’ll never let anything happen to her.

●

I know, she’s a real gem.

My dad did a great job when he made her.

Enjoy her while she’s this little, because she’ll be grown in a blink.

Remember to let people help you out with her.

I’m supposed to be the hero around here, not you.

●

I have to do everything myself to make sure nobody messes anything up and hurts her.

If I look away and something happens, I’ll never forgive myself.

But, I promise I’ll do a perfect job.

●

It’s not your forgiveness that matters, it’s mine, remember?

And, you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be good.

Please, please take a nap, drink some water, and let somebody pitch in.

You’ve got good neighbors and friends around you, and a husband who actually wanted children.

My mom wouldn’t want you to have as hard of a time as she did, kiddo.

●

My baby used to be so sweet and now she’s cranky all the time.

It seems like the better she gets at walking, the angrier she gets.

She’s so disobedient that I’m scared she’ll end up in Hell if I’m not careful.

I know I’m going to Heaven and the thought of not seeing my baby again in the afterlife is just not acceptable.

Please tell me what to do.

●

It’s all about love, remember?

Well, sometimes it’s about flipping tables, but mostly it’s about love.

So, just love her.

When you’re cranky, there’s always a reason why, so put on your detective hat and figure out what’s got her so upset.

She’s not doing it to be a pain in the ass, she’s trying to tell you something is wrong.

Be the adult my father grew you to be.

I’ll be watching.

●

This little girl doesn’t appreciate how good her life is compared to mine.

She won’t offer anything up for the souls in purgatory the way I’m supposed to teach her and I’m losing my mind.

No matter how many times I spank her, she just keeps being a nasty little witch.

I’m trying so hard to keep her safe from Hell so she can enter your Kingdom and she just seems to want to burn.

●

I hear you, I really do.

Look, I know we both had tough starts in life, but that doesn’t have to be something you have in common with your daughter.

I didn’t die the way I did just so you could keep on suffering too.

The wars you’ve been fighting are over and you’re just swinging at nightmares, kiddo.

She doesn’t need to be scared of the world to be a good kid.

●

I haven’t heard from you in a while, but she’s been talking to me quite a bit.

Please don’t make me come down there again.

●

If you two have such a great relationship, she’s your problem.

I’m done.

Lizzy’s Mom has notifications silenced

●●

(If this poem moved you, please consider participating in the Minnesota relief effort. There are so many children there.)

Subscribe now

Thank you so much for reading my work. See you next week.

EPISODE 7: Lizzy’s feeling avoidant.

FEATURING: the origin story of Lizzy’s addiction, avoiding the caretaker role, shifts she’s noticing in her Morning Pages, flushing the mental pipes, the demands of problem-solving, her decade in therapy changing thought patterns, what she learned about control from the AA rooms, why she doesn’t submit to lit mags anymore, the fear of hope, how the “yes, and” of improv comedy helped her mental health, why mistakes are a chance for connection, the boundaries required of a person working an unusual schedule, the joy of solitude, the crab bucket in which she grew up, learning what she actually needs to have a good day, the millennial financial struggle, and her current mental transition from put-upon young adult to powerful woman.

ABOUT THE PODCAST: Curious about The Artist’s Way but not ready to take the leap? Working through the weeks alone and looking for a companion? No matter where you’re coming from, this podcast is for you. Welcome!

Lizzy Co approaches this material from the perspectives of ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD, and alcohol addiction recovery.

Lizzy Co does not make any claim of ownership to any of the material from The Artist’s Way presented in this podcast.

Subscribe now

◎

ICE rains on a frigid city.

A new diamond glitters on a young woman’s hand.

◎

Waters warm that should be frozen.

A child knows butter for the first time.

◎

A hard memory surfaces that I didn’t know was there.

A different, kinder one rises to meet.

●

Subscribe now

Thank you so much for reading my work. See you next week.

EPISODE 6: Lizzy has mixed success this week.

FEATURING: the nature of memory, self-worth vs. achievement, pride in her chosen group of friends, the gift and privilege of therapy, how Yes Please by Amy Poehler changed her, synchronicity vs. algorithm, the effects of physical discomfort on personal growth, her struggle to name her own feelings, the experience of the “messy middle,” the shifts in her values from her 20s to her 30s, one reason why she went no-contact with her birth family, growing up in a hoarder house, dreams becoming memorable, her day-job self vs. her creative self, her current affirmation of choice, fun vs. useful, and fear of being silly.

ABOUT THE PODCAST: Curious about The Artist’s Way but not ready to take the leap? Working through the weeks alone and looking for a companion? No matter where you’re coming from, this podcast is for you. Welcome!

Lizzy Co approaches this material from the perspectives of ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD, and alcohol addiction recovery.

Lizzy Co does not make any claim of ownership to any of the material from The Artist’s Way presented in this podcast.

Subscribe now

The stuff I knitted in December is live in my shop, and I need more time to finish the poem I’m working on, so you get a special secret discount! 50% off everything to appreciate my paid supporters, whee!

Read more

◎

Glittering key-claws,

Dance on the spot, scan the clock:

Rules for good girls, laws.

◎

There never really was a monster lurking:

I was spinning alone in the dark,

The ghost stories were working.

◎

Twenty years of moonlit steps:

My experience tells me I’m safe.

It disagrees with the internet.

◎

Behind the scenes:

This week, at the cafe I manage, I shared some stories of my old bartending days with my young staff, and they expressed fear at the thought of walking home alone after last call.

I assured them, to their surprise, that I could count on one hand the number of times I had encountered a tricky situation in my two decades of restaurant work.

The scary stories absolutely do exist, and they stand out not because they’re the norm for which we should prepare, but because they’re a shocking departure from the usual behavior of everyday humans.

I’m a small-statured, gorgeous, female-looking person, and I’m here to report that the world is not as drop-dead terrifying as the clickbait would have you believe.

Just keep your head on straight and you’ll be alright.

●

Subscribe now

Thank you so much for reading my work. See you next week.