The Devil You Know
...is still a devil.
Welcome, and a warm first hello to the newcomers!
I’m so happy you’re here.
This week’s theme is The Devil: in tarot, this card sometimes indicates a period of reckoning with the dark. The balance and integrity found within the Temperance card last week now get put to the test, and if the traveler is lucky, they’ll find a chance to let go of what no longer serves a purpose.
You can read my previous post about this card here:
Contents:
Carry You
Somewhere Safe
Home Alone
Suggested background music: “Hourglass Is Half Full” from Black Swan Event by The Lizzy Co Show
Carry You If you scare me, I’ll carry you with me. I’ll scoop you up, adopt you as my own. You’ll voice the thoughts that made me want to bleed, In 2002, at fifteen years old. A decade earlier had shown me how A nineties girl must learn to grow armor: A ribcage, bald legs, pussy ripe to plow, A ready grin to things I would defer. Visions that seek to kill me crave a home, A face, with a mouth full of cursing teeth, Two narrowed, flashing eyes to call their own, Borrowed from skull of one who’s mean to me. If you scare me, you live on as a voice, A hateful one: is that really your choice?
Somewhere Safe I don’t dissociate often, these days: Time seems to move much more consistently. I learned to cope with life in other ways. I learned that it’s just fine that I have needs. October sun pierces, unusual: The angle of the year is waning, fast. My hungry inner child is feeling full: I give her meals to help that kiddo last. I’ll stay out of the hospital, this year. I’ll remember it’s good to be alive. Meat’s thick on my bones, and my mind is clear: I learned that I can safely socialize. I don’t dissociate often, these days: I rescued myself, ran to somewhere safe.
Home Alone
(This one is an experimental shift: away from sonnets, into the villanelle form. You might see more like this in the future.)
I am not lonely when I am alone,
Only when I’m with others and unseen.
A body settles where it has a home.
Composing poetry on my iPhone,
Determining just what it is I mean:
I am not lonely when I am alone.
I stretch the ligaments that hold my bones:
Cold weather is an achy-making fiend.
A body settles where it has a home.
Where I go, I fill up the shelves with tomes,
Bound accomplices that can meet my needs.
I am not lonely when I am alone.
One day I’ll get out from under my loans,
I’ll know what it feels like to live debt-free.
A body settles where it has a home.
I learned it’s up to me to set the tone.
I learned that feeling cannot make me bleed.
I am not lonely when I am alone.
A body settles where it has a home.
„I don’t dissociate often, these days:
I rescued myself, ran to somewhere safe.“ Love this! 🖤