Introspection

The Hermit would advise some alone time

Welcome, and a warm first hello to the newcomers!

I’m so happy you’re here.

This week’s theme is The Hermit, a tarot card that celebrates self-examination. You can read my previous post on this card here:

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Currently, this card reminds me that the more time I spend focused on self-care and self-discipline, the less I feel called to criticize the actions of others.

Introspection makes me less judgy and more open to connection.

I dig it.

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Contents:

1. Vegetarian

2. Target Audience

3. Buried in Roses

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Background music: “Redhead Lover,” a work in progress from the new album I’m composing. It’s inspired by my favorite redhead.

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Vegetarian

I’m not a vegetarian, is that
Alright if all the meat that I consume
Gets transformed into poetry, to craft,
To my expressive music that fills rooms?

My mother craved red meat when she bore me:
She only gave her body what it craved
When she was heavy-carrying babies.
Otherwise, she ate in disordered ways.

I could not be the baby who saved her
Once I became a woman fully grown:
She could not see me as a whole person.
I had to go find a life of my own.

I eat the meat my body needs to live,
Then, give back every bit I have to give.

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Target Audience

Come to me, all you Taylor Swift knockoffs.
All you, who want to be such shining stars.
I write for beauty that has seen some scuffs.
Come listen, gorgeous crowds of angry hearts.

Come to me, kids who grew up too damn fast.
It wasn’t fair, but that was what happened.
I grew up, now, come cuddle in my lap.
I’ll make sure your winter coat is fastened.

Come to me, those who have no family:
Who mourned, or ran away, it’s all the same.
Don’t have folks who are related to me,
But, I learned that’s just step one in the game.

My words are here when you feel all alone.
I do my best to build you a chill zone.

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Buried in Roses

You’ve gifted me my roses while I live:
I’m buried in the petals of your love.
I gratefully receive the care you give.
I finally feel like I have enough.

I did not think I’d live to see the night
Soften into the blue of a new day.
What fascinating, unexpected sight:
You taught my callused, working hands to play.

RhNUDX1 is the gene
In roses that causes their lovely scent.
There is no science for the things I’ve seen.
You held me while my neck was so grief-bent.

I’ll squint until I grow used to the light.
It will happen, though it will take some time.

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Please consider a small donation to my fundraiser to support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

I will be walking to raise funds for AFSP this October to celebrate both my birthday and my continued existence on this earth after multiple attempts on my own life. I am now healthy and strong enough to walk, so I walk.

Please click below to share the link or contribute to my fundraiser: